fallen friendships

“Nobody likes being alone that much. I don’t go out of my way to make friends, that’s all. It just leads to disappointment. ”

During the course of my life, I had many friendships, lots were temporary, ones ended with me leaving, ones ended with them leaving, and some simply kept existing, but with the passing of time, they become hollow, shallow and rather disappointing.
The latter is what I always tried to understand, if we don’t care about each other anymore, why are we still trying? and if we still care about each other, why is no one trying?
It’s like a tv show that gets a really strong start in its first seasons, people start getting attached to it, it hits its peak, people start raving about it, then it falls apart, the fans start complaining about it, but it carries on? episode after episode, the fans are still watching, no one is getting real value anymore, all they’re getting is disappointment, they’re clinging to it because they still love it for once it was good and it lit sparks of joy inside them.
But who’s at fault? and what’s to blame? is it me? them? their lack of communication? my lack of understanding? it’s quite a dilemma, everyone starts questioning it, no one gets an answer.
I will blame my arch enemy, time.
Time is a creation of the devil, and we’re Satanists, it’s destroying my friendships, for before there was much time in them, they were pure and full of excitement and curiosity. it’s separating my family, for once all of us gathered on the same table and slept under the same roof. it’s stealing my body, for it’s getting weaker and more fragile. can I defeat it? but how can I beat an enemy I can’t see, touch or hear? should I just give up and admit defeat? for why am I battling something I know I can’t beat?
The only answer I can reach is to let things be, to let those friendships go on, to participate in those hollow exchanges, to welcome disappointment, to watch people go, and to let them come, and to keep those who are in the middle, like ghosts not knowing where to go, for if they ever needed you, you should not disappoint, to not be like time.